Monday, 28 December 2009

I wasn't expecting that...Part II

Personally, I think I took the news of the cancer very well.  There were tears, but only once.  I think that was more the result of the stress of the previous month of tests, the fear of having HIV and the relief of finally knowing what was wrong.

I had an appointment to see the doctor I had been assigned to and she explained everything to me and my wife.  She explained in detail what I would be going through and what is likely to happen.  She also made it perfectly clear that they knew exactly how to treat the disease and in a weird kind of way there was nothing to worry about.

I was sent to do heart tests, lung tests and scans, as well as having my sperm frozen for future use.  It's kinda weird sitting in a line for the room to become free knowing someone was inside having a whazz.  There were a couple of good looking guys in line and I was tempted to offer them a helping hand - but I thought perhaps it wasn't the right time or place (I never lost my sense of humour throughout the whole ordeal).  Some of the guys took quite a while to make their "deposit" - I had no problems at all, go in the room and knock one out before i'd even locked the door hahaha!!  I looked through the pathetic porn offerings  that had been left for those needing help - but it wasn't necessary.

The first chemotherapy session was nerve-wracking.  I was assigned my own nurse who explained everything I was allowed and not allowed to do.  What to expect, what might happen and what we should do to make the process as easy as possible.  I was to have chemotherapy once every 2 weeks for six months.  It's a tiring experience.  It took a whole day of blood tests, consultation with the doctor, ordering the drugs and then once the drugs arrive and I'm connected up to the intravenous drip the actual chemo takes about 2.5 hours! 

Like everyone, I'd heard all the stories of what happens to people on chemo.  I'd been warned my hair would fall out, the nausea, the sickness and the weakness.  I was lucky.  I didn't lose my hair, was never sick - the only thing I suffered from was extreme weakness and tiredness which lasted for a couple of days.  The ups and downs of the treatment are tough - but I got through it well.  Always with a smile.

After three months, I had a scan which showed the treatment was working but had another three months of chemo still to get through.  Apparently the disease is very sneaky and you think it's disappeared, but it hasn't.  It wasn't easy - but it's all in the attitude.  I was positive throughout.  I never stopped working, hardly even took off any sick days and did as much as possible to maintain and continue a perfectly normal life.  I like to think that I didn't complain and also knew that there were a lot of people in a situation a lot worse than mine!

I got through it.  I didn't even lose my libido and I personally thank the person who invented both the Internet and webcams!!!  Since then I'm back to my best.  I'm still being checked every three months but I know that the worst is now over - I had an experience and I got through it OK.  I proved to myself what I already knew - what a strong person I am.

This is the first time I've ever written about what I went through.  I had planned at the time to write a diary of my experiences but never got around to it.  I hope what I've written here can help at least one person get through similar experiences.  Thanks again for all your comments and views.

Some lessons learned that should be shared:

  • If something is unusual - go to the doctor - worse case scenario they will send you away saying it's nothing
  • NEVER EVER use the Internet to try and diagnose yourself - you don't know if what's written is true, who it was written by and why it was written there
  • Listen to your doctors - they are not infallible - but in general they know what they are doing
  • Enjoy your life always - you never know what is waiting around the corner - life can sometimes be very short
  • Attitude - be positive and never give in

Tomorrow back to the posts about sex.  I promise. 


  1. Wow man! Thats awesome to hear your struggle and how you stayed strong and still managed to maintain a sense of humor through it all! Best of luck to you and thanks for the comments on my blog! Keep it up!

    Wild Bare Jock

  2. You're very welcome. Good to know that someone is reading what I write.

    Looking back on it now - it was an interesting experience and dealing with it is all in the mind. There are people I work with closely who didn't even know I was ill - because I never complained, never looked ill and never took time off work - it was literally business as usual!

    It was an experience, but I'm pleased it's over!