The musings and ramblings of a horny, married and closeted gay guy!!!!
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
In my almost never-ending search for the perfect, secret, male partner I'm often asked what kind of guys am I attracted to.
This seemingly innocent question which you would expect a straight-forward answer to can sometimes be very problematic. Obviously, like everyone else I want someone who is aesthetically pleasing to the eye. It would be a lie to say that the physical attributes of the guy aren't important. But the part that normally causes lots of difficulties for me is when I tell the person asking the question that the physical beauty of the guy isn't the most important thing for me.
As I've grown up, so have my needs and desires regarding a man changed. When I was younger I would never have considered really talking to a guy properly. Telling him my real name or where I live would just never have happened. Some quick anonymous sex was all I wanted. Now that I'm older, that isn't enough for me - I'm very happy to suck on a dick still - but would like to know who the dick is attached to.
I am a very strong believer of inner beauty. I think I guy may not necessarily be beautiful on the outside but he can radiate beauty from within. Some guys, surprisingly - a huge majority of them in a similar situation to me (married) etc.. can be exceptionally fussy. I don't mean that you should take whatever you can get - but I have been "rejected" for having a hairy chest, for not being tall enough or simply not living in the right city.
Sure there are attributes in a man that I find very attractive but I would never reject the possibility of meeting a guy because he didn't match my idea of what I'm looking for. As a married man, the most important thing for me is always discretion. Love-making with a guy I can trust and feel comfortable with is a million times more fun that sex with a male model incapable of writing his own name.
Being in my position and making the necessary efforts and arrangements to be with a man - I want him to be a man. I like hairy men and I want them to behave like men. Recently, I met a married guy who in the half an hour that we sat in his car talking showed me that he was wearing female panties, his toenails had nail polish on and his body was completely smooth - not a single hair on his body (other than his head)! I loved his freedom to show and tell me what he wanted and what he liked - but it did nothing for me. I know there are some guys who enjoy that kind of thing, but it's not for me. He was also looking to be with a guy so he could wear a dress and literally be a woman to another man. This is way beyond what I find sexy.
A lot of the time some of the guys I have been most attracted to have not necessarily been the most beautiful - but there was something about them that attracted me to them. It's not something that I can actually describe - it's something about the guy himself and it's these inexplicable things that can drive me wild with desire.
In my opinion - a man can be stunningly beautiful with an enormous cock but can be a useless lover. Yet an average looking guy with an average body can be the most fantastic and sensual lover.
The people that seek perfection in a partner generally end up alone. I don't think it's a matter of compromising your requirements as much as a matter of being realistic in what it is you genuinely want and are able to find. There are several blogs I have seen of "Ordinary Men" - I much prefer to look at regular guys, guys that I can picture myself being with - rather than ripped, toned, muscular guys - does that make me weird?
I have no doubt that my perfect partner is out there somewhere looking for me - he may be my perfect partner but not someone else's idea of perfection.
I'm just a pretty normal married, closeted gay guy on the outside and a pretty complex guy on the inside. I've had cancer and been through quite a lot of stuff. Just looking to have fun and share my experiences with others!