The musings and ramblings of a horny, married and closeted gay guy!!!!
Tuesday, 15 June 2010
I'm never sure if it's just my crap luck or whether I spend too much time looking for things that don't exist but I always find myself attracted to guys that leave me wondering "are they or aren't they?"
I'm sure I mentioned this guy in another post, but couldn't find it. He works for another company in the building in more of a blue collar job - in charge of their warehouse or something similar - I'm pretty sure he doesn't have an office job, as such. Anyway, a few months ago I noticed him by the lifts, he's older than me - I would assume very late 40s or early 50s. Dark skinned, short, buzzed hair, smooth arms around my height - well maintained for his age - he has a very serious look on his face at all times and a deep masculine voice (I'd heard him talking to others). I noticed him looking at me and immediately my gaydar began ringing very loud. I don't know why, but there was something in the way he looked at me that didn't seem right - as though the gaze was a couple of seconds longer than it should have been - it was almost more of a stare than a look. Naturally, I stared back!
This ping-pong looking at each other has been going on for a couple of months. I have been going downstairs to the car park - he seems to spend a lot of time in the store-room there (which makes me think that's where he works) he would look at me (while I'm having a cigarette) and I would look at him (he would also light up a cigarette when he saw me). But we never spoke, just looking at each other... until yesterday.
As I went out of the back door of the office towards the car park - he was standing by the door. Instinctively I kinda nodded at him to acknowledge him (I may be horny but I'm not rude!) and he immediately started talking to me. We began chatting about smoking and how we'd both given up many times but always come back to it. Despite his normally very serious, almost angry face, he was very smiley and we joked about things. He made it clear that he had a wife, as did I - but again, perhaps it's just me and my screwed-up head but it just didn't seem right. Not that I don't believe what he said just more that he was making it abundantly clear to me that he is married.
The conversation ended as our cigarettes burned out and we were talking about if he gives up smoking then he'll give up coffee and eating meat and the only thing he'd have left to enjoy would be staring at women. Was this to put me off the scent? Did I totally misread his stares? I'm not sure why, but I'm curiously attracted to him. I looked for him today but he wasn't around.
We shall see...naturally, you all will be the first to know if anything should develop.
I'm just a pretty normal married, closeted gay guy on the outside and a pretty complex guy on the inside. I've had cancer and been through quite a lot of stuff. Just looking to have fun and share my experiences with others!