Agony Uncle Answers

Following my request a few posts ago for any problems that you readers might need answering I received a mail from Mr Sammy Bear regarding preparations before anal.

He wrote:

Hi there -- I've just started getting into anal sex and to prepare for my return to Chicago to my boyfriend I went out and bought an 8-1/2 5 dildo that I've been stuffin up my ass.

The question is about cleanliness.  I haven't found a definite answer ..... one night I douched 5 times and yet when I finished plunging the dildo into my ass it still had watery shit on it ..... I've not tried any more then 5 times.  I want to be clean.  So clean -- that when someone fucks me and I do down to his dick to clean it off I'm okay, safe and not grossed out.  Please do help me.  I'll be back in Chicago end of October and want to make sure I have this down.

Thank you.  Love reading your blog.  Nicely written and always interesting.

Firstly, thank you very much for your question.  I apologise for not answering sooner.  Unfortunately, as I've mentioned a few times in my blog my experience of receiving cock is somewhat limited.  But in my experience I would suggest the best thing to do is an enema.  I'm not sure if that's what you mean by "douching".  The simplest way to do it is to remove the showerhead and gently insert the tip of the shower pipe inside your arse.  Make sure that you turn the force of the water down so that it's not too strong.  I also recommend using warm water - nothing too hot or too cold. 

If you have inserted it properly you should feel a heavy feeling as you "fill up" with water.  After a few seconds, remove the hose and your body will begin to expel the water with any waste that may be lurking inside.  You could repeat that a couple of times.  You should remain in the shower for a while afterwards to make sure all the water has left your body.

Other than using plenty of soap and making sure that you are as clean as possible there, there's not much else I can think of.  If any readers have other and better solutions, I'd be happy to hear them.

On a more practical note, if you know when you are likely to be meeting, I guess you could change your diet a few days before to ensure that your body is in good order before you meet.  Your dildo definitely sounds big and the possibility of "remnants" being found on it or whatever else is put inside you is basically an occupational hazard.  I don't think it's possible to guarantee 100% cleanliness during this kind of act. 

I think the most important thing is that as long as you feel clean and relaxed while being fucked, you should be OK.

Good luck and have fun.

Please remember any questions you may have can be sent to idontunderstanditeither@hotmail.com.

Back to Reality

Well it's been a great week off from work.  I really enjoyed it had a great time with my daughter going to the swimming pool, shows etc... Will probably be off most of next week too so I apologise for the gaps in my blog.  Things are pretty good at the moment and I'm actually quite happy (makes a change).

The last time I worked late at work before my holiday, I had a pleasant encounter.  I was sitting in the office, horny as fuck so I texted the divorced guy I'd been to a couple of times with the words "I'm horny".  Wasn't really expecting a reply and nothing came.  About an hour later my phone buzzed.  It just said "I'm with my boyfriend, want a 3some?".

I knew he had a boyfriend and I also knew that he didn't want his boyfriend knowing that we had met.  His boyfriend is married and out to his wife and she has even met her husband's boyfriend.

I immediately sent a text back saying "Yes" and he replied "we've never met!"  I knew what that meant.  Within 10 minutes I was ringing on the doorbell and being taken inside.  We said hello and made some small talk and about a minute later the boyfriend emerged.  He was about my age, my height and build - with longish floppy hair.  We all spoke for a couple of minutes before heading toward the bedroom.  The guy I'd met before (we'll call him The Banker) was already in his boxers.  The boyfriend was wearing long shorts and a red t-shirt.  The three of us began to undress.  We chatted for a couple of minutes and the boyfriend told me that he is more passive and The Banker is a switch although more of a top and I stated that I am too and swing more to being a top too. 

It was a warm evening and the curtain at the window was blowing in the light breeze.  The Banker was naked and lay on the bed.  Although I felt very comfortable with them both, the whole situation was a little awkward.  I was the next to get naked and got on the bed.  The boyfriend stayed in his red briefs as he too lay down on the bed.

The Banker and his boyfriend began to kiss as I ran my hands up and down their legs.  Still not too sure where to be touching and what to be doing (besides the obvious).  They began kissing each other and I somehow joined them, all three of us kissing each other quite passionately.  Together with The Banker we slowly pulled down the boyfriends briefs.  It seemed there were hands and legs and tongues all over the place.  It felt good and I was very relaxed.  We all seemed to be sucking each other, touching, stroking, rubbing.  The Banker's cock was hard and was being sucked by the boyfriend.  I joined him and we both sucked and licked his cocked.  I was rock hard too.

The Banker lay on his back and his boyfriend sat on his cock, I watched his face as The Banker's cock slid inside of him.  He began rocking back and forth and I could see the pleasure on his face.  I stood up on the bed and the boyfriend took my cock in his mouth - sucking me while being fucked, it was a great feeling and he was a legendary cock sucker.

Every now and again The Banker would wink at me or smile - to show me that he was enjoying himself.  I was enjoying myself too. 

Slowly the boyfriend took himself off the cock that had just fucked him and I stood behind him as he began sucking on it.  I began to gently finger his arse.  There was a lot of groaning from all of us.  It was now getting hot with all three of us sweating.  I sat for a few seconds just watching - I was getting so much pleasure just sitting and enjoying the feeling of being so close to two guys - watching them suck and fuck.  The boyfriend then turned his attentions once again to my cock and he began sucking me while me and The Banker kissed passionately.  I was having a good time.

Once the initial shyness of us all had passed, we all seemed to know what we were doing and where we should be touching etc...it all seemed to fit together so nicely.  Without a word the boyfriend was once again riding The Bankers cock.  The Banker was rubbing his boyfriends cock while fucking him - I was alternating between kissing the boyfriend and kissing The Banker.  I could hear the boyfriend's breathing getting deeper, he was panting.

He then let out a deep sigh and moaned "I'm cumming".  As I watched his cock shoot ropes of cum over The Banker's stomach and chest I was rubbing my cock and started to cum too.  The boyfriend then began working on The Banker's cock and within less than a minute he too was shooting his cum over himself.  All three of us dropped on the bed together - hot, sweating and exhausted.  We all lay there for a couple of minutes in an almost stunned silence.  The boyfriend then got up and headed to the shower.  I was given a towel and joined him and was followed by The Banker - all three of us in the shower together smiling at each other.

We made our way back to the bedroom and got dressed.  Chatting as though we were all friends - about our lives, families etc...  The boyfriend said that he recognised me and it turns out we had met years before (I don't remember it, but from what he remembered about me - we must have met - not sure if that makes me a good person or not!!).

I said thanks to them both, I'd had a really good time and I hope we can repeat the experience again soon.  I'm just not working late at the moment - so will have to postpone it until next month when things get back to a normal routine!!  Roll on September!

Away

Just a quickie so people don't think I've abandoned the blog.

I am away next week and it's very unlikely I'll be able to update my blog.  I have a great 3some story to tell you all, so please feel free to read through the past entries and looking forward to being back to full blogging power around the 15th of August.

Thanks again to all my readers and please feel free to send me any emails to idontunderstanditeither@hotmail.com with any comments, stories, pictures, problems.

Take care and have a great week.

100,000 Hits!!

I know it's been at least a week since my last post, but as usual, my very quiet life has taken a turn and become even quieter.  The school holidays are now upon us so at least the running around has ceased for the next few weeks.

I haven't worked for a few days late either, drastically reducing my desire and my opportunity to be naughty.  But I still have some offers!!!  I don't know why, but I'm really in the mood for a threesome - even though the one I had a few years ago wasn't overly successful - I really feel like doing one again!!

Following my request in my last post about becoming a kind of agony uncle to some of my readers, I was inundated with questions from all over the globe and once I have finished going through them, I may post some with the authorisation of the writer, of course.  But please feel free to continue sending in your questions, problems etc... to idontunderstanditeither@hotmail.com

I also couldn't let this pass having noticed that I have breezed past my 100,000 hits.  I'm totally surprised by this, the amount of people that have taken a peek into my life.  They've read stories about my life that I haven't shared with the people closest to me.  There are thousands of people all over the world that know things about my life, my body, my sex life that nobody else knows.  There's something very sexy in that.  I think being a fan of the voyeur genre of films - there's something very sexy about knowing something intimate about somebody else.  I don't know, it's just weird and kind of exciting at the same time.

Just a quick update on other things.  A few posts ago I was talking about the store room guy and what may happen with him.  Well, I've now had 6 bottles of Cola Zero from him.  I think he's on holiday at the moment as I haven't seen him for a few days.  Still totally unsure if he has sinister intentions.  I think I have become a little paranoid - he saw me having a cigarette the other day and without even asking me, came over to me with a bottle of cola (he now knows I like cola).  I said thanks but mentioned that I'm embarrassed to take it.  He looked at me with a wry smile and said not to be shy and if I continue to be shy he'll hit me.  I smiled and was unsure if there was some kind of double-entendre in there somewhere!  He is VERY sexy!

Diet is going slowly but surely.  Following my visit last week to the dietitian, I've now lost 12½ kilograms.  It's taking longer than I'd have hoped, but the main thing is that it's going down.

Thanks to everyone again who has taken the time to read, comment and enjoy this blog.  I hope it will continue for a long time to come!

I still would really love receive more comments, emails, pictures, suggestions, questions and problems that I can help with.

Thanks again to everyone for making this blog what it has evolved to be!